Serious Stuff / Uncategorized

The Constant Battle with Thoughts of Leaving and Staying

‘so what happens?

‘LIFE, I guess. Life happens.’

A year and a half ago, I was so lucky to have ever made one of the best decisions in my life.

I chose to work as a Recruitment Consultant at one of local headhunters in Indonesia. I had no idea what headhunter was prior to joining the company. I spent my very first weeks being all in-awe and admiring how everything works in the recruitment industry. How headhunters work to manage several clients all at once; how I got to learn loads of new things; and how I instantly and constantly fell in love with the perplexed process of recruitment.


that time I finally got the job as a Recruitment Consultant

I managed to do my job well. I got along with my colleagues and bosses. It seemed like everything went too smoothly for me to think that I found the best company where I could spend the rest of my life to work with.

There is an art of recruiting that I am forever grateful to experience, which my company introduced me to it. It is a satisfactory feeling when you get to help people advance their careers which may make a big impact on their lives as well (simply because career improvement often goes along with salary increment). And yes, that feeling is addicting. It is what keeps me happy and content at work. It is my personal achievement when I get to place my candidates at companies which offer them better exposure and package. I love that feeling.

One year of working and other headhunter companies started trying to hijack me to work with them. I was never tempted because why would I move to another headhunter company where I would eventually do the same job. I loved my company and my colleagues way too much. Also, I had said my two cents and tried to hold on to it:

‘don’t leave a company that helps you grow, gives you total freedom to express your true self and a convenient no-politics workplace just because other companies offer you a more attractive package. Work for knowledge and only leave when there’s nothing left to learn at your workplace.’

Until I questioned myself, what do I want to be? have I learnt much?

But I was never sure about everything. The only thing that I knew was that my life was like a constant motion. I got so comfortable at work that I did not feel the excitement of getting my heart pumped whenever I did not master something that my client required me to master. I worked 8.30 to 5.30 and time used to fly so fast until I started to count time and I looked forward to my next holiday.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved (and still do) being a Recruiter, I was never depressed at work nor that I was unhappy, but everything had changed when I had become so comfortable and confident about everything.

My company offered me comforts but I was destined to seek challenges.

So the thought of not learning much anymore kept bugging me off. In a blink of an eye, suddenly a corporate offered me a job as a Recruitment Officer where I will get to connect with expatriates around the world who are interested to work in Indonesia – something I have never experienced in dealing with before, something that is of my interest and something that offers new challenges.

And without hesitant, with a constant battle of that thought and the choice of staying in a place that offered me comforts, I chose to leave.

So I am leaving with full of uncertainties of the future. I am leaving behind a really good workplace for a company I do not know yet with a destiny that shall remain unknown.

I am also battling with myself during this transition. I cannot just leave behind colleagues who are so genuinely kind. As a matter of fact, I am scared that I make a bad choice.

but the future awaits, and there are always lots of new knowledge, experiences and countless opportunities I will yet to experience and whatever choices I make in life, good or bad, with the hope that they are the right ones… Here I am again embarking a new journey at a new company.





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