Serious Stuff

Relationship Goal(s) and the Justification of Women Oppression

I am writing this as my mind starts to wander around the thoughts most of us, insecure single women, have… where in the freaking world is my better half or soul mate or partner or whatever it is you call them. I am pretty sure some of you, single ladies out there, who are reading this post right now have probably wondered who would your partner be… and so you started to imagine what would he look like and how would he act towards you. And yup… there goes the making of a long list of relationship goals you and your delusional minds create.

I have been hearing and reading a lot of ‘cute‘ relationship goals lately; mostly from Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, some friends, etc… and I have to admit that most of them, which unfortunately are made by us women, are indeed very cheesy and shallow. Like for example:

Relationship Goal #1: having a bae (baby) who would bring me a BigMac at 01 AM.

Relationship Goal #2: having a bae who would tell me that I am beautiful everyday.

Relationship Goal #3: having a bae who would drive me everywhere I wanted to go.

Relationship Goal #4: having a bae who would protect me and tell his friends that I am HIS. etc.

Like seriously, ladies? No offense but this is the reason why all the efforts of those famous or infamous feminists, who have been fighting for the so-called gender equality all these times only go to nowhere but the bin. If you ask me where are all these heading to and what do these relationship goals have to do with this post’s title, let me connect the dots for you: By making those kind of goals above, we form the sense in all those males’ minds that we all really cannot live without depending on them. Haven’t you got something in your mind that tells you that all this oppression towards women more or less comes from our own failure to be independent?

For decades, we have been letting men control us by thinking it’s their responsibility (or rather right?) to lead and protect us. No surprise, it makes them think that they are more powerful and superior than us (women or ladies) because we just let them think that way, we let them think we cannot protect our own selves. While in fact, there is obviously always a simple solution for every problem you have. You want a BigMac? Pick up your phone and call 14045. You want to be told that you are beautiful? You already are and you could tell yourself that everyday. You want to go somewhere but you cannot drive? Go use public transportation or take driving lessons and get your driver license. You are not anyone’s property and you could protect your own self.

courtesy of @therealdisastr as seen on her Instagram.

cr of @therealdisastr as seen on her Instagram.

Put aside the need to always ask men for help and put them as the latter solution we could take, not because we will never need them or we hate them but because we are saving ourselves from the stereotype of female being a weaker gender. Do yourself a favour, learn to respect yourself and stop making lists of these relationship goals that are so very unnecessary. It is good to have goals, especially in relationships but please consider and re-consider what benefits in the long run will you get from the list you make. If you are not even sure it will benefit you in the long run, please stop posting those cheesy goals online and make other girls do the same thing as well as make men generalise usll. That is the least thing we could do to help ourselves and all those feminists other than being the real feminists.

On that case, you will have the right to make all the men respect you and make us -men and women equal. Besides, don’t we all, women (complicated creatures who always want to be spoiled by men), actually hate on men for not treating us fairly? Go on then, you always have the choice. Respect yourself and you’ll be treated fairly or make those long list of relationship goals and have yourself treated by men poorly while justifying the oppression towards us, women.


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