Random Thoughts

Lost

Today I lost.
Today all the hopes, all the dreams, all the future plans for next year are buried deep in the ground.
Today I went home crying.
And that’s the kind of painful cry of losing.

I lost.
Defeated by the power that I could not fight.

Today all the struggles are wasted.
are torn up.
are going to the bin.
are causing the kind of failures I did not even make;
are scarring me.
are the most painful.

Today I lost everything.
Losing it to the unwritten rules
Losing it to a power that controls everything
Losing it to a battle where I was unarmed
Losing hope
Losing faith

But I wish you well.
I wish you had fun breaking a heart that only wanted to do good.
A clueless heart that only wanted to bring pride to the souls full of hope.
I wish you felt those tears falling down that they brought you satisfaction.
I wish you were happy while I was there…
suffering but ended up with nothing.

I am taking the white flag you gave me.
Wrapping it as a present to give to those warm hearts;
who have been waiting for me; hoping I would put a smile on their faces.
who once believed I could go through this all.

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