“You can’t have a universe without your mind entering into it.” – The Law of Attraction (The Secret)
I got the quote above from watching the movie as our lecturer told us to watch it. I was never into some motivational movies or shows. I did think all those motivators around the world were mostly bullshitting on their audience. You could easily guess I was
half-asleep during that movie.
Until one day my lecturer told us to write down what we got from the movie… I had to re-watch the movie just so I got a good grade on the subject.
It was my only intention at that time, to get a good grade.
By the time I finished watching the movie, I could easily tell what I got from watching it, that there is something more than just getting a good grade.
The movie sends back what I have been losing: trust and dreams.
Soon I started to notice that my life has dramatically deteriorated ever since I lost trust in myself. I was clueless, I did not enjoy my life, I missed all the excitement, and I forgot how did it feel to be an enthusiastic dream catcher like I used to be.
I could never thank my lecturer enough for “forcing” me to watch the movie. It gave me a huge motivation to do what I had been forgetting to do.
The story started as I began sending a lot of scholarship applications to a lot of institutions in the US. Yeah, United States of America.
I realised if there is one thing I have to fight for in my life, going to that land of dreams is the only thing I have been dying to go to and that’s what I should fight for.
I also started to believe in the quote I posted above, I started daydreaming a lot. I imagined how it would feel like to live a life even for a while in The States. Somehow, I thought I have lost my mind. I was really obsessed to go to the U.S.
The most crazy thing was when I changed all of my social media accounts’ password to “america2013” (by the time I posted this story, I have changed my password :p).
I know people would think I was crazy as I did not know yet how to go to the U.S if all of my scholarship applications got rejected, but then again the point is that you have to believe, believe you could make your dream come true, believe in yourself, believe in your dreams, and believe that you are more than worthy to achieve what you have been dreaming of and I guess that’s what brings me closer to my “america2013” dream.
The first scholarship application was sent to The American Indonesian Exchange Foundation (AMINEF). It is the most prestigious foundation that covers your living expenses while you live there. Of course to get this scholarship is not easy. A lot of Undergraduate students from all around Indonesia could apply this scholarship but at that time I was confident enough to think that I would get selected as one of the candidates.
Several months since I sent my scholarship application have passed, I had not gotten any notice yet, I started to worry that they refused my application.
I was scared but not for too long as they finally sent me a rejection letter through email….
I was a bit sad and disappointed.
really… but not really.
It did not take a long time for me to get up from all the sorrow. I realised there are still a million ways to go there and all the sadness and disappointment I went through that time were actually not as huge as I thought they would be. I guess that’s what brings me closer to my “america2013” dream.
I began searching for a lot of institutions in US that provide scholarships, I also searched scholarships on U.S Embassy and found one.
I sent a lot of applications, I made a lot of essays, I had to re-make my personal data over and over again.
Due to the excessive amount of assignments and homework that I had to do, I stopped applying scholarships. It was nearly the end of 2012, and my last scholarship application, my last U.S bound hope, was sent to U.S Embassy under their “Study of The U.S Institute” programme (check the details here http://exchanges.state.gov/non-us/program/study-us-institutes-scholars).
It’s 2013 already and I have not got any notice from all the institutions which I sent my scholarship applications to. I was so sure they all rejected my applications. Who am I to dream big…
Until a week ago, on 27th of March 2013…
sleepy me was battling with sleepiness on my early class when suddenly my sister called me. I was kind of panicking because she never called me if it was not urgent, I thought I’d be hearing some bad news. The biggest problem was that my phone is always unreachable whenever I am at my University, it’s always out of service. I could not hear her voice until she finally texted me…
“Mel… Dad just got a call from the U.S Embassy, you just got a scholarship to Indiana U.S.A, call Dad now asdfghjkdjalj!!”
at that time I was like “huh?” I texted her back “are you lying? You’ve got to be kidding me! Which scholarship anyway?”
That was the dumbest question of the day that came from my mouth. I did not even remember which scholarship was I granted from as I sent loads of scholarship applications.
Then suddenly a text message from the representation from the U.S Embassy came. I finally remembered what programme did I get the scholarship from.
All of sudden, the days seemed brighter, people seemed friendlier, the traffic in Jakarta seemed nicer like the Universe conspired to celebrate a happy day with me. I was just granted a scholarship to study for 5 weeks in United States of America!!
Amelia, that weird, often underestimated girl has finally made her own way to visit a country where thousands of people on earth would never even dare to dream of going there. I laughed at how God showed His unique way to grant my wish. I could never thank Him enough for how this news brought so much happiness and pride feelings to my friends and family, especially my parents.
No one at first believed this news. I understood, I got shocked as well, but when they did ask, I would rather say “I am just a jammy bastard.”
Yeah, jammy for having a crazy mind, believing that I could go there this year.
Jammy for accepting all the failures and rejections with all my heart and did not even stop to still make some efforts.
and jammy for trusting my own self to fight for dreams that I have been dreaming of.
I guess that’s what brings me closer to my dream.
america2013, I am ready!